Yet Another High School Fic
by bootykallz
Summary: The title says it all. The life and times of high school students and their teachers. RenBya, IchiIshi, GrimmUlqui, GinKira, IkkaYumi, KyoUki, YoruSoi, HitsuHina, ShuuheixEveryone, and many more!
1. Height Requirements and Broom Closets

DISCLAIMER: Bootykallz does not own Bleach, because if we did, Bleach would a 24hour orgy.

A/N: *insert something clever and witty here* Anyways, this is a collaboration between the genius minds of Andraiyel (mwahahaha) and xXxyaoixluverxXx. 'Nuff said.

* * *

Chapter 1: Height Requirements and Broom Closets

"Welcome back children, it is a _pleasure_ to see all of your shining faces once more. This year will be much more _entertaining_ than the last." Aizen glanced at all of the students that had gathered around the front door of the school for the first day of the coming school year. "Please _enjoy_ your first day, I know that I will," he finished with an evil glint in his eyes as he turned and opened the front door of the school, starting the new school year officially.

Grimmjow shuddered as he walked towards the doors. 'Man that guy is a creeper.' As he walked he was eyeing all the kids that were going to be part of this school year. Suddenly there was a feeling of despair and utter hopelessness that washed over him. 'What the hell?' he thought to himself as he turned to look for what was causing the black hole of gloom and misery, instantly spotting a dark haired, darkly clothed, emotionless Ulquiorra. "Damn emo kid," he grumbled angrily as he tried to get out of the emo boy's sphere of darkness.

"Trash" Ulquiorra muttered as he simultaneously spotted Grimmjow. This was going to be an interesting year.

* * *

"Hi Shuuhei!" Momo yelled across the school ground as she rushed towards him. "What did you do this summer?" she asked giddily in her overly sweet and happy voice.

Shuuhei glanced down at her. "Well, -"

"NO! Don't corrupt her tiny little mind with your dirty habits!" Rangiku shouted, coming out of nowhere to clasp her hands tightly over little Momo's ears. Momo smiled up at Rangiku, not understanding what she was talking about. She gently pulled her hands off her ears and giggled.

"No, I really want to know what he did. Did you go to the beach and make any sand castles? I did!"

"Well," Shuuhei continued, "I tapped a whole lotta ass," he said bluntly. Rangiku slapped her hand to her forehead and mumbled something about Shuuhei being such a whore.

Momo cocked her head to the side slightly, a confused look gracing her innocent features. "What? Were you hitting people? That's not nice!! Don't be such a Meany!" she cried.

Shuuhei shook his head disappointedly. "No, no, no, see what that means is-"

"Don't you dare! I will kill you," Rangiku threatened him menacingly.

"Do you have pictures?" Momo asked curiously. Shuuhei smirked mischievously.

"Oh yeah, I got videos. I'll show ya later if ya want."

"Yeah! I would love to see them!"

"Oh no you don't," Rangiku said as she dragged the eager Momo inside the school to help her find her locker. Rangiku finally let go of Momo as they got into the school, confident at this point that she would follow her and not go back outside to where Shuuhei was to inquire more about his summer activities. No one as cute and innocent as Momo needed to be subject to that.

"Hey look!" Momo cried excitedly as she pointed down the hallway to where a short, white-haired boy stood frozen, staring down at a small piece of paper.

Rangiku put her fingers up to her lips. "Sshh," she whispered quietly, although no one could have heard them over the roar of all the excited students. Sneakily, like the large breasted ninja that she was, she snuck down the hall to where the boy was standing and wrapped her lithe arms around his neck, engulfing his head with her boobage. "Toshy-hunny!!!" she cried happily as Momo ran over to catch up with her, a huge smile on her face as she came closer to Toshiro, who still hadn't reacted to the boobs encasing his head.

Momo's smile faltered slightly as she saw Toshiro's blank face. "What's wrong Toshiro?" she asked curiously.

Rangiku casually looked down at the piece of paper in his hands. "What classes did you- wait didn't you graduate last year?" She grabbed the piece of paper from his hands and held it high above his head as he tried to retrieve it back from her.

"Rangiku, stop fooling around!" he shouted angrily, trying with all his might to refrain from jumping for the piece of paper in her hands.

"…Special education? You got put in special Ed?! That means we have class together! You, me, and some other cool people Toshy-hunny, equals one big party! It is going to awesome!!" she exclaimed, a big grin spreading across her face as Toshiro glowered at her.

"S-sp-special education?" Momo stuttered, shocked.

"Wait, what about special Ed? Any of you guys get in that class?" Renji asked as he walked by, happening to hear a bit of their conversation. He stopped, deciding to join in. "That is such bullshit, they put me in that class again this year," he said angrily. "I don't even know why I keep getting put in that damn class, I'm only failing six out of my seven classes."

Rangiku snickered rather loudly. "Ha! You're funny. Ah Renji, you are such a dumbass."

"Whoa, wait," Toshiro turned towards Renji, staring at him in disbelief. "The school year hasn't even started yet, and you are already failing six classes?!"

"Yeah, isn't everybody?" Renji looked at him as though it were normal for that to be happening.

Momo just patted his arm softly. "It's ok Renji, I can help you if you want…" That was kind of a pointless offer, because everyone knew that Renji was a hopeless case, but nobody had told this to him yet.

"Hey wait, didn't you graduate last year?" Renji asked the short one.

Toshiro mumbled something under his breath angrily.

"What, I didn't catch that."

Toshiro mumbled a little louder, but it was still not audible.

"Dude I can't hear you if don't speak up!" Renji was beginning to get irritated.

"I DIDN"T MEET THE COLLEGE HEIGHT REQUIRMENT!!!! SO THEY SENT ME BACK INTO HIGH SCHOOL WHERE I GOT PUT INTO STUPID PEOPLE CLASSES MADE FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!!" he shouted so loudly that all the people in the hallway stopped what they were doing and went silent, turning towards him with wide eyes.

"Damn man, no need to be so harsh about it. That hurt," he said, looking slightly like a wounded animal.

"That is not nice Toshiro, Renji is not stupid, he is just is not as smart as everybody else." Momo said in his defense, but failing to do so.

"Thanks Momo," Renji said sarcastically. "I'll catch you guys later," he said as he walked away, having already forgotten where he was going initially.

As he was walking he passed the janitor's closet, and stopped abruptly. There were muffled sounds coming from behind the closed door. He smirked, 'Oh young love,' he thought as he started walking again, not knowing who was even in there. A few moments later a ruffled and content Shuuhei walked casually out of the closet, running his hand through his hair, a satisfied smile plastered across his face as he started towards his first period class. A few moments after that, slightly mussed Yumichika exited the broom closet, smoothing the wrinkles out of his school uniform and threading his fingers through his hair to remove any tangles.

An oblivious Ikkaku came around the corner and wrapped an arm around his waist and dragged him along through the hall, kissing him on the cheek as they walked. "C'mon Yumi it's time for first period."

* * *

A/N:

WoOt First chapter is out homies, so tell us what you think!

Andraiyel: *face/palm* god jesus that was ridiculous and I'm just glad it's ova

xXxyaoixluverxXx: the next chappie is going to be even better, more innuendos to cum and other things to *cough cough* Shuuhei *cough cough * So keep reading guys and gals... and others

Andraiyel: If you don't review I will kill babies, and kittens. Or even better, baby kittens

xXxyaoixluverxXx: kittens are baby cats silly pants

Andraiyel: just review damnit

xXxyaoixluverxXx: don't swear at the readers they'll cry * slap* WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!

Any ways that is a fancy button they got there, you guys should press it and review just suggesting though…


	2. Welcome to Special Education

Well apparently only people that sell Viagra care about us 'cause they send us e-mails every fucking day * get it * , but no I'm serious like over 200 messages. And we aren't even men!! Now only imagine if we were. It is cause we be black. I get it.

DISCLAIMER: WE OWN NOTHING NOT EVEN THE CLOTHES ON OUR BLACKS, BACKS I MEAN, OUR MOMMYS BUY THEM FOR US.

Ok, we were just kidding we aren't black, not even close it is just a pasty white chick and a yellow Mexican who looks Asian up in this hood/grill/bitch/etc.

* * *

CHAPTER 2:

Urahara stood up from his desk as the bell rang, rapping his wooden cane on the desk. He smiled brightly at the class, a devious glint in his eyes as he looked over all the students.

"Welcome – To – The – Class – For – Very – Special – Students," he said slowly, enunciating each word for the students.

As he was saying this, the history teacher, Yoruichi Shihouin, walked into the room to grab a stack of papers that were slowly being pushed out of the printer that was in the room. She stopped mid-grab, turning around to glance at all the students and then over at Urahara. Upon seeing a certain red-head sitting in one of the desks, and Shuuhei as well, she put her hand up to stifle a giggle.

"This is the retard class you were complaining about, Kisuke, isn't it?" she asked the blonde teacher.

"Yup," he sighed.

"Is it okay to say that out loud?" she asked suddenly, eyeing the students.

"Oh yeah, it's fine, we're talking too fast for them to understand," he replied simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh, well then." She picked up her stack of papers that she had come to get initially.

Toshiro sat fuming in his seat next to Renji, sinking lower in the chair from sheer mortification of having been placed in the class. Rangiku, who sat a few seats away from the white-haired boy furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion and raised her hand high up in the air so that Urahara could see it.

"Uh, could you repeat that please?" she asked.

Yoruichi just shook her head slowly and walked out of the room with her stack of papers as Urahara clapped his hands together with a large smile on his face.

"Okay – Class! Today – We – Are – Going – To – Play – A – Game – So – That – We – Can – Get – To – Know – Each- Other!" he said slowly, receiving blank stares from almost all of the students.

"What exactly do you expect us to do?" asked a slightly agitated Yumichika as he twirled a piece of his hair in between his fingers.

Urahara beamed. "We – Are – Going – To – Play – Two – Truths – And - A – Lie!" he exclaimed excitedly, sitting himself atop his desk while swinging the wooden cane absently in between his legs.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at this and Shuuhei sighed heavily. The only one who seemed remotely interested was one Orihime Inoue, who raised her hand high in the air, yelling, "Ooh, ooh! Pick on me!" in a high pitched squeal.

"Yes – Ms. – Inoue?" Urahara asked at a rate that she could understand.

"Um, how do we play?"

"Oh – How – Good – Of – You – To – Ask! Well – You – See, - What – You – Do – Is – Introduce – Yourself – By – Saying – Your – Name – And – Then – You – Say – Two – Things – About – Yourself – That – Are – True – And - One – Thing – That – Is - A – Lie. Do – You – Understand – Now?" he enunciated for the class.

Orihime stared at him blankly for a moment before absorbing all of what he had said. She then nodded quickly, a big grin plastered across her face.

"Okay – Then!" Urahara clapped his hands together again. He pointed to Yumichika and said, "There, - You – Can – Go – First!"

Yumichika groaned loudly as soon as he saw the finger pointed at him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stood up from his desk. "Ok, my name is Yumichika Ayasegawa and the two truths are that I am the most beautiful thing any of you will ever see-" Shuuhei whistled loudly at this, "-and that I am absolutely gorgeous. Hmm, the lie is that I would sleep with any of you, because I am loyal to my boyfriend," he finished with a smirk, Shuuhei rolling his eyes at the last part.

Urahara clapped. "Good – Job, - But – I – Guess – I – Forgot - To – Mention – That – The – Point – Of – This – Game – Is – To – Let – The – Class – Guess – What – The – Lie – Is. Okay – Your – Turn – Ichigo – And – After – You – We – Will – Go – In – Order – Of – Seats," he finished as Ichigo stood up.

Ichigo ran his fingers through his orange hair, trying to think of something to say. "The name's Ichigo Kurosaki and, umm, I have two sisters, I weigh 700 pounds, and I have naturally orange hair," he finished.

Rangiku immediately started laughing. "Oh, honey, that one's clearly the lie! No one could have hair like that naturally!" she piped up.

Ichigo sighed and sat down. "Yeah, that was clearly the lie."

"You weigh 700 pounds?" Orihime exclaimed. "You pull it off so well!"

Rangiku jumped up from her desk. "My turn! My turn!" she cried excitedly, immediately putting a red-colored fingernail to her pursed lips, thinking of her two truths and a lie. "Well, let's see… My name is Rangiku Matsumoto and I read books all the time-"

"That's the lie right there, don't even kid yourself," Yumichika said, searching his hair for split ends.

"Hey!" she yelled. "I didn't even finish!" She glowered at him before saying, "Like you should talk anyways. The game is called _Two Truths and a Lie_ not Two _Lies_ and a Truth."

"You bitch," he growled.

"Hey – Now, - Hey – Now, - That – Is – Enough – You – Two. The – Next – Person – Can – Go," Urahara interjected.

Orihime bounced up from her seat excitedly. "Ooh, I'll go," she volunteered eagerly. "My name is Orihime Inoue and, well, I am a really good chef and I can see dead people and umm, I was on American Idol with Adam Lambert," she said with a thoughtful smile on her face before giving a short curtsy and sitting back in her desk.

Toshiro's cheeks puffed up slightly and he turned a bit green as bile came up his throat. "Ha, thanks for the stomach aches. If you're a good chef then I am seven feet tall," he scoffed.

Shuuhei stood up suddenly and pointed at the white-haired boy. "That's his lie! Totally called it! He is only like four feet tall. Do I win a prize now?"

Urahara blinked slowly. "Umm, - No, - But – Thanks – For - Finally – Participating," he offered.

Shuuhei crossed his arms over his chest and flopped back down in his chair with a huff. Renji glanced back at him, but it didn't seem like he was going to stand up, so Renji started to get up for his turn. Shuuhei shot up.

"Hey, man, it's my turn," he said sharply. Turning to the class he said, "Ok, the name's Hisagi. Shuuhei Hisagi, and I impregnated seven girls last year, uh, I idolize older men, and I have a policy to never take anyone's girlfriend."

Renji almost fell out of his chair laughing. "Ok, yeah, that last one was definitely the lie. Dude, you are such a playa it's not even funny!"

"Pfft! The first one was the lie! It was eight girls last year! Heh, beat that Lil' Wayne!" he scoffed. He took a sideways glance at Yumichika, though, as he said this. "Eh, but I guess the last one's a lie too, whoops," he chuckled, sitting back down in his seat.

Renji was still laughing as he stood up for his turn. "My name's Renji and I like sports, I am not a flaming homosexual-"

"LIE! ALL LIES!" Shuuhei shouted along with Rangiku and Ichigo as Renji said the last part, all pointing at him menacingly.

"Hey!" he yelled. "It is true! You didn't even hear the last one! I was gonna say that I was a big purple elephant!"

Yumichika smirked. "That's more true than the one about your sexuality."

Renji growled menacingly at the more feminine man. "God, you're lucky I don't beat up on chicks."

Yumichika stared at him blankly. "Um, well I am a guy."

Renji's eyes widened. "No fuckin' way!"

"Anyways…" Shuuhei said, trying to get things moving along.

Toshiro finally stood up, although it didn't make much of a difference height wise. He was probably taller sitting down. He smoothed out the front of his t-shirt before addressing the class with a stony gaze and cold tone. "My name is Toshiro Hitsugaya and I am-"

The bell's shrill ring cut off the smaller boy before he could get out another word, all of the students rushing for the door. He clenched his fists. One of these days…

Urahara waved at all of the students. "Have – Fun – In – Your – Afternoon – Classes! See – You – All – Tomorrow!" he called after them, still lengthening all of his words.

* * *

A/N:

Andraiyel: Well, that was somewhat entertaining. I am just glad that it is over.

xXxyaoiXluverxXx: Yeah you and four others think so, WHY DON"T PEOPLE LOVE US!!!????!!! We are loveable! I think…maybe…

Anyways, leave a review or the joint special ops team of Andraiyel and xXxyaoiXluverxXx will come and personally hunt you down, shank your mother, steal your cat, and rape your brother. Now have a nice day X3


	3. Not Wife Beaters on the Holidays pt1

A/N: To all of our precious readers: Hey, this is chapter three.

Andraiyel: Greetings loved ones, let's take a journey.

xXxyaoixluverxXx: I know a place where authors update regularly, and the chapters are always longer, (with no one page authors notes)

Andraiyel: Clicking on our keyboards, writing sexy yaoi love scenes.

xXxyaoixluverxXx: boys on their backs, while ukes give a sexy strip tease

Bootykallz: Anime boyz, they're hot and totally predictable, you know in a fanfic they'll always have sex. Nice, toned bodies, they'll make all the fangirls squeal. Oh, Oh! Ooooh, nngh! *insert other sex noises*

. Okay, let's just get to the story now…

* * *

CHAPTER 3: Not Wife Beaters on the Holidays pt.1

"Hey, that one looks like a chicken…"

Grimmjow jabbed Renji in the side, hard. "No it doesn't, dumbass. It's just a fucking cloud, how the hell can it look like a fucking bird?"

Renji rolled over, clutching his side in pain. "A chicken's not even a bird, stupid! It's, like, a mammal or something," he gasped out.

Grimmjow sat up in the grass and stared at him blankly. "So, I bet those special ed. classes are workin' out great for ya, huh?"

The red-head finally stopped his rolling around in the grass and stared up at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means your stupid, stupid. Now get up and don't be such a pansy; I didn't even punch you that hard, " he grumbled, standing up and brushing off his own pants.

Renji stuck up his hand and Grimmjow grabbed it and yanked him up quickly, Renji stopping to brush off his pants as well.

"So-" Grimmjow started, but was then rudely interrupted by a boy with flaming orange hair.

"HEY!" Ichigo yelled in an obnoxiously loud voice, running over to the two boys standing in the middle of the schoolyard.

"Ichigo, you ass, I was in the middle of saying something important. Didn't your mom ever teach you any manners," Grimmjow griped.

"My mom's dead," he mumbled, the air around the three of them suddenly becoming tense. Ichigo's downcast eyes started to glisten slightly, almost as if he were on the verge of tears.

Grimmjow gulped uncomfortably and shuffled his feet a bit, holding his hands up in front of him in a "Whoa man," motion. "Hey, dude, I didn't mean anything by that," he grumbled awkwardly, not sure quite what to say. "I'm sorry man…" he trailed.

Renji, while the entire situation only kept getting more awkward and uncomfortable, just stood around and whistled a tune to himself, searching the sky for that chicken cloud he had seen earlier.

Ichigo, shoving all of his painful memories and emotions into a thick metaphorical box, nailing it and duct taping it shut, just to be sure that it was securely sealed, and then shoving it into the deepest, darkest recesses of his mind, turned to the other two boys and said nonchalantly, "So, what were you guys talking about before?"

Grimmjow stared at the orange-haired boy incredulously, opening his mouth to ask what the hell had just happened, but no words coming out. "Uh, wait, wha…?" he stuttered.

Renji, watching Grimmjow's speech fail him, piped up, "There was a chicken-shaped cloud in the sky earlier, dude! But this asshole here," he jabbed his thumb in the still confused Grimmjow's direction, "said that clouds can't look like chickens. And he said that chickens were birds! Can you believe that?"

Ichigo stared at the red head blankly for a moment, before turning his attention to Grimmjow, deciding not to even acknowledge any of that chicken business. "Yeah, but what were you gonna say before?"

Grimmjow ran his fingers through his teal hair, trying to put back together his 'cool persona.' "So tonight there is going to be this awesome party at Nel's house, you know, that really hot chick that just moved here? Yeah, well she's even got some badass connections and there's gonna be booze there, a shitload of it," he finished with a devious grin.

"Seriously?" Ichigo asked agitatedly. "Booze?"

"Yeah, dude. She's hookin' all of us up with anything that we could ever want."

Ichigo sighed dejectedly. "You are going to end up growing up and living in a trailer park, married to your cousin and being a fat ass, wearing stained wife beaters all the time," he said, his lip curling up slightly in disgust.

Grimmjow's blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "Hey, man. Let's get one thing straight here. I don't wear wife beaters, 'cause they're for fags." He turned to Renji. "Am I right?" he asked, waiting for the red head to back him up.

Renji, however, had missed the entire conversation, because he was in absolute awe.

During the exchange that had passed between Grimmjow and Ichigo, Renji had turned around to try and find that elusive chicken cloud. While he had been searching, something beautiful caught his eye. Something absolutely and without a doubt, drop dead gorgeous. Or rather someone.

It was love. For sure.

And for moments like these, he needed Momo.

Completely blowing off Grimmjow, he high-tailed it back into the school and began to sweep the entire school for the small, brown-haired girl (who was as flat as a ten-year old boy).

Stopping quickly in the middle of a forked hallway, the red head looked up the left side, his eye catching exactly what he was looking for:

Short: check

Brown hair: check

Flat as the great plains: fo'sho'

"Momo! Wait up! I need to tell you something important!" he yelled at her.

Taking the left hall, he ran up to her and spun her around, beginning to tell her what he had seen at a mile a minute; only to realize that it was Hanataro that he was talking to. Whoops.

"Heeeey! I'm not Momo!" Hanataro whined.

"Why not?" he cried dejectedly, shoving Hanataro carelessly into his locker as he made his way deeper into the school in his quest for Momo.

Ten minutes later and no closer to finding Momo than he had been before, also with his lunch period just about up, he flopped down on one of the benches that were randomly placed around the school in a funk.

"Shit, what am I gonna do now?" he mumbled to himself, rubbing his eyes tiredly with the heels of his palms.

"Oh, hey, Renji!" Momo greeted him, waving brightly.

Sitting right beside him on the bench.

Renji jumped about a foot off of the seat in surprise at the sudden greeting. He looked over and saw that it was the exact girl that he had been looking for! "Holy shit, Momo! I've been looking for you everywhere! Where the hell have you been?" he exclaimed, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her slightly.

"I-I wa-was t-taking Izuru t-to get help with hi-his English ho-home-work!" she forced out through her chattering teeth as Renji shook her.

Renji stopped shaking her suddenly and stared at her blankly, a look of understanding passing through his brown eyes. "Oh, well then."

Momo stood up and straightened her slightly disheveled clothing. "What did you need me for exactly, if you don't mind me asking?"

A huge, stupid grin spread it's way across Renji's face. Stupid enough to be almost scary and feel threatening. "Well, you see, I saw this guy…"

* * *

A/N: Buh-buh-buh!

xXxyaoixluverxXx: Cliff hanger! Bwahaha!

Andraiyel: No, not really. That was us just being lazy.

xXxyaoixluverxXx: You don't have to tell the readers that!

Andraiyel: I felt the need to do it, because it's true.

xXxyaoixluverxXx: I feel we scammed our readers with this chapter. An update full of NOTHING.

Andraiyel: That is because that is exactly what we did. And no, we're not sorry. At least I'm not.

Bootykallz: So, yeah, you guys should drop us a review. Even though we cheated you guys with this chapter, still. At least if you want us to pump out another update. If we get enough reviews, we'll do it sooner this time too! Plus, we redid California Gurls for all of ya XD

Andraiyel: Psst, xXxyaoixluverxXx thinks that me saying that we would get out an update sooner is really freaking funny, because she thinks it won't happen.


End file.
